Wordless

 When I was young, really as a child, I remember that the thing I wanted - really more than anything else was to be able to explain myself - to know how to use words. 

 Very often people would ask me something and I would have a strong feeling on what I wanted to say but I just didn’t have the words. I remember on several occasions just saying to myself, “I wish I had the words to explain myself - to say what I want or what I need.” Like that in feeling only not as clearly as that in words in those days.

 You may find that hard to believe considering all the books I have out now but I think really that some of the reason that I did come into channeling years later, even though I had at that time forgotten those wishes I made as a child, was because I was fascinated by not only the words, the knowledge and the wisdom but the command of the language demonstrated by the beings I channeled. Not every word but many words that I didn’t know and had never used before. So that was fascinating to me in the beginning of my channeling work.

 To this day though, I still have issues when people ask me - what are you doing? Or, what’s up? Or what’s new? I just will sometimes draw a blank for a few moments or more. So that’s just an issue for me.

 I’m not asking for any psychological help here, I’m just saying it’s a quirk.

 So if we ever meet and you ask me a question or you ask me about something and I pause for a few moments before answering, just give me a little time. I may not have an eloquent answer and I may not even string together very good words at that time and then you’ll know that that issue is up for me - and sometime later you might get a nice email when I have the words then.

 Granted when I was young it might have been that I was shy but nowadays I’m not really so shy anymore. I think it’s because my natural way of speaking is with feelings.  

 Well, I thought you might find that interesting. It’s just one of those things. Goodlife