Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Unexpected

Sunset in Oakland, originally uploaded by kimbar.

Many years ago I received a call from my sister. She was terribly upset and I didn't know what it would evolve into but between gasps and sobs she told me that our mother had died unexpectedly.

My sister had taken her to the hospital and almost in no time she passed away.

When I was listening to my sister I was very sad naturally as you can imagine and my special friend who was with me at the time rushed over to see if she could help and she sat there quietly.

I've never found it easy to cry. I know a lot of men out there can completely identify with this. I think that little boys cry, just like little girls. Somewhere along the line we are taught that it's not acceptable - maybe not manly to cry but of course we feel like doing it and we stuff it down don't we.

But there are times aren't there when someone you really love passes over and then... Well I started to cry then and my friend sat near by me but she did not say too much. She didn't want to interfere with my process. She had never seen or heard me cry of course but it turned out I did have company.

We lived at that time in an area that was partially wooded behind us and almost immediately - though I had not heard them before and they are usually beings who let you know a little bit that they're around - almost immediately coyotes started to cry with me. They howled and they cried and they made their sounds.

All the time I was weeping they cried with me and the moment I stopped they stopped. I know coyotes can be a bane for us at times but I'll never forget and I'll always appreciate the night the coyotes cried with me.



Photo is © B. Kim Barnes, used with permission, and can be found at

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